AT LAST!

PROGRESS:

In this top picture she is 2 lbs. and 1 ounce.

She is a little swollen due to a medication that they were using to  close a heart valve.
This was done with a medication.

Cleo's heart valve was opened. This is called a PDA. Cleo received a round of medication that was meant to close that valve.
 As of now this valve has been closed.
They will be doing another test to see in a few weeks.    

PDA DEFINED:

 A patent ductus arteriosus, or PDA, is a type of heart defect found in babies, usually in premature babies born 8 weeks or more before their due dates.PDA occurs because the circulation of a fetus is different from that of a baby who has been born. In the fetus, the blood is oxygenated by the placenta, not the lungs. The ductus arteriosus is a fetal connection between the pulmonary artery and the aorta. The ductus arteriosus allows blood to flow from the heart out into the rest of the body, instead of going to the lungs to pick up oxygen.After birth, when the baby begins to breathe, the ductus arteriosus should close to allow blood to flow to the lungs to become oxygenated.

 If it doesn’t, a heart murmur may be heard and 

the baby may develop respiratory distress

 and poor growth. 

A PDA may close on its own or medications or surgery may be used to close it.

Cleo has been having a very difficult time breathing. She has been tolerating feedings well, after a battle.

I was told just the other day that she is feisty. That is what we need, no doubt,

 for the fight she has ahead of her.

  

CURRENT NEWS:

She is currently (May 25th) Up to 16 ml per feeding. 

That is a lot for such a tiny thing.

Her chest has been really tight and she has been struggling to breath. I am told constantly she wants to breath on her own, but is just too little to do it consistently. We are just waiting on the results of a

chest x-ray. I am praying that it will not be anything too serious.

She is currently up to 2 lbs and 10 oz. and 15 Inches. We are pleased with that.

           AT LAST!

After a difficult 2 weeks and a day, I was able to hold my little baby on May 19th. We were asked to do a Kangaroo hold. They gave us hospital gowns to wear and have us tuck her next to our chests, to keep her warm and keep her breathing steady.

As they opened the Isolate My heart was beat hard in my chest and the tears flowed down my face. My heart had been aching for this very moment. 

She was so little, so fragile and so pure. The moment felt like a glimpse into the heavens. 

I felt the presence of peace. My emotions were so uncontrollable I could hardly speak.I asked if could kiss her head. The nurses response, " She's your baby". Finally for a moment I felt she was truly mine.

There are truly no words to describe that amazing, healing moment in my life. I don't think I can do it often enough!

Brian kept saying he didn't need to hold her, I think to cope he told himself  " She isn't born yet".

That didn't work for me. 

The nurse insisted that Brian hold her, and he did.

I can't speak for all that he felt, but he say it felt like being in the temple. It was true.

Our Cleo's little body contains a strong spirit. I dare say she is also close to so many others who have passed before. What an incredible feeling to feel of a spirit who is so close to the veil, having so recently left the presence of our Heavenly Father. The feeling in the NICU is simply beyond description.

I am looking forward to holding her again.

Just a thought I have had:

I have been told by so many that they are praying for her and many have shared with me their tenderest feelings about my little girl.

"How is it that one little spirit, who only a few have physically seen and fewer have even touched, can touch the hearts of so many and that the name 'Cleo' will forever be a tender name?" 

I am so blessed to be a part of her life, and she a part of mine. This is one of the hardest things I have experienced but somehow I am allowed to see glimpses of the Savior's love for me and feel comforted, when I stop feeling sorry for  myself.   but there are days when that is too much to ask. But I make it to the next day a little stronger.